It’s a Good World After All

I have young children, but of course I love them. Of course they have changed my world. Just like most parents, I worry about their future. Just like many, I worry about the way things are going from bad to worst. Often I think about how everything was so much easier during my growing years. The world was so much better back then…

Yet today a post made me ponder.
It was an open letter from a loving young father to his newborn daughter.
This post made me rethink – maybe the world is not that bad, really. In fact maybe it is a much better place today. Yes, maybe it’s a good world after all!

Yes of course competition has increased but so has opportunity. Today there are many more jobs and beyond that, there is a variety of jobs to choose from. In fact a hobby, a passion can be cultivated to bring in not only bread and butter but much more. The society I grew up in, to be an Engineer or Doctor was the goal. Today Sky is the limit for those Dreamers who Dare Soar.

As a woman, I see my life is so much different than my mother’s and I know my daughter’s will be much more richer than mine. She will definitely have many more choices and will face lesser hurdles. There would be more doors she could knock on and the mountains would be easier to climb as others have already kept their footprints for her to follow. I hope she makes her mark, leaves her own footprints without hesitation – It will be her choice.

Yes, definitely Technology has brought us so much closer now. Just a couple of decades ago a mother’s heart would skip a beat by the thought of her child venturing overseas. Yes even today a mother’s heart does skip a beat, but the worry is much less. She knows her young one is just a phone call away; a quick video chat is all it takes. Yes today we are definitely more connected. In fact in many cases, technology has helped to not only stay connected but help us reconnect.

Today, we are no longer defined by our History, no longer held back by our Geography.

I believe appreciation and awareness has definitely increased. I see more appreciation for numerous arts and crafts, besides that of age-old practices like Yoga. We are not only more appreciative about the divinity of arts and crafts, but also more aware on issues ranging from obesity, proper nourishment to cleanliness and even natural resources. Advances in technology, more educated people have helped bring this change.

Of course we are just learning to value our resources. Maybe it’s the need of the hour. But definitely things are improving towards the better today. A couple of months back, I was at a friend’s for lunch. There were some left-overs – her daughter made it a point to wrap everything in recycled bags and boxes. This was something our generation never thought about but this generation is learning and learning fast!

And we are also learning to be a little less selfish. I see middle class or even the so-called lower class making more contributions towards helping others as and when. Either hearts have become bigger or pockets have. Either way, this is definitely a change for the better.

Of course there are the obvious changes which have made the world so much better today. Lifespans have definitely increased. Machines and tools have made manual work so much less. And there are many more.
Yes, surely need to revisit this post again and again – am sure this list is endless!

The post that made me ponder was by a young father – Mark Zuckenberg ; co- father of facebook. His post was more focused on how he and his wife would be contributing to make this world a better place for his little girl and the new generation. His post also made me reflect on how I could contribute, how we could make this world a better place for our little ones. I know I am not a Mark Zuckenberg nor a Warren Buffet, but I hope to make a little difference. How, am not sure , but I sure wish to be able to contribute in my own way…

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
-Winston Churchill

He believed in me

“My grandfather gave me the greatest gift, he believed in me!” said my new boss, my childhood buddy. 

It was early January. We were all a little anxious, a little keyed up. We were awaiting our new chief. Our last VP of IT had just stepped down, rather been asked to step down. After a series of intensive interviews and dialogues with numerous candidates, the board had unanimously voted for Mr. Pankaj Joshi to take his place. Rumored to be a go-getter and a doer, I’d come across his name a couple of times in ‘IT Today’ and ‘Computer World’. I heard that he was about my age, I was looking forward to meeting him. Obviously, was a little apprehensive too.

“Mr Anand, could you please come to my office,” a call from the President. A direct call! A little surprised and worried, I hurried to the elevator.

”Please come in,” I heard our president’s response, when I knocked on his door.

“Hello Mr. Anand,” beamed our President. “Mr. Joshi wanted to meet you before our  team meet.”
“And I believe you  both know each other already. I just had a brief discussion about our new Deloitte Project. I will leave you two buddies to catch up a bit before our big meeting”. With that he left the room. Puzzled I turned to shake hands with Mr. Joshi.

“Andya, glad to see you again! My god, it’s been so long, at least a good twenty, twenty-five years!” And then it dawned on me when he gave me a grin, that grin! Yes, I’d come face to face with my childhood pal, my buddy Pankya. I was definitely stunned to see our class jester as my new chief! Beaming he gave me a hug. But before I could say more  the phone rang. And together we rushed into the conference room for a formal meeting with the rest of the team.

“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person’s determination. This determination will certainly take us places. And as Henry Ford once said, coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. May we achieve all the success and take this company to an unthinkable echelon,” on this note Pankaj ended his introductory speech. I was amazed! Was this really Pankya, the most mischievous boy in our class, the trouble-maker?

********

“Pankaj Joshi, behave yourself! Into the dustbin!” shouted Mrs Mishra, our Math teacher. “At this rate twenty years down the lane you’ll be cleaning dustbins! You should pick a page from your brother’s book!” And Pankaj spent the Math period standing in the dustbin, his punishment for pulling Tapan’s hair. This was nothing new. Pankaj was our class prankster, ever the mischief-maker; he always had new tricks up his sleeves.

I remember the time when Pankaj had put stink bombs in the teacher’s desk. The whole class had to spend the rest of the day in the library, as our classroom was uninhabitable thanks to the smell! Another trick I remember was Pankaj putting super glue on the tap in the teacher’s bathroom! Our poor history teacher was the victim. It was the talk of the school for months! And then there was the perfect trick, it was a custom for the entire school to gather in the assembly hall every morning for prayers and for Principal’s address. Somehow Pankaj had managed to get twenty small alarm clocks from somewhere. We crept inside our assembly hall early that morning, before the first bell. We set them at 30 second intervals and placed them randomly. You can imagine the chaos during the assembly! Our prayer session that morning is still etched in my memory!

Pankaj’s elder brother Prashant, our senior was the exact opposite. The football champ, our school prefect, our school teachers always sang his praises. One of the most popular boys in our school, he was an all-rounder. I would have been so proud if I had a brother like Prashant. But frankly, I don’t ever recall seeing Pankaj and Prashant together. Not that I’d ever seen them fight or something but they didn’t seem to be the best of friends either. We were all studying at the Mountainview High school in Panchgani.

Oh I still remember those glorious schooldays. The football matches, the debates, inter-house quiz competitions. If only I could turn the clock! I was on the swimming team as was Pankaj. The only days-scholar in the class, I would have definitely felt left out, if it hadn’t been for Pankaj. Impish Pankaj was my best pal, my buddy. Some weekends he even came over to stay at my house, of course with Father D’souza’s permission.

I have that day, stamped in my memory when Pankaj’s father yanked him out of school. That was the day when Pankaj was almost expelled. It was actually a pretty childish trick. We had placed a couple of banana skins outside our staff room door. Of course the aim was to see our teachers slip and fall. We didn’t see any harm in it! But our vice principal, our second casualty, had a rather nasty fall and had to be hospitalized for it! When asked to own up, Pankaj took all the blame for the tomfoolery.

“You should be ashamed of yourself! Look at your brother; you are a total disgrace to the family, a complete failure!” I remember Pankaj’s father roaring at him.
Thanks to Pankaj’s behavior he was called to meet the Principal that day, taking time out of his busy schedule. Pankaj’s father a renowned cardiologist was known to be a self-starter and an ambitious man. His mother was also a much sought pediatrician. This kind of behavior from their son was unacceptable.

That was the last I saw of Pankaj. There were rumors that Pankaj was sent to live with his grandfather in Pune.

********

“My grandfather gave me the greatest gift, he believed in me!” said Pankaj.
It was Friday. Pankaj and I were sharing drinks. It was then that I had asked him about the metamorphosis.

“That day my father was really furious,” said Pankaj. He continued, “according to him I was a disgrace to the family. In my father’s words, I didn’t deserve any of the privileges. And I was deported to my grandfather’s. As always, my mother supported my dad cent percent.”

And that was the turning point in Pankaj’s life. His grandfather lived alone near Parvati hill, in Pune. Just matriculate, he was a strict disciplarian . Pankaj was admitted to the English medium school nearby. Every morning he had to get up early, and then he went for a walk on Parvati with his grandfather, followed by prayers and some studies. After school he was allowed to play with the neighborhood boys and then it was homework time. His grandfather always sat by him when he did his homework.

“He made me recite the poems aloud, quite often twice or thrice, so that I could understand their real meaning. He made me reflect on every word, on every stanza,” said Pankaj, his eyes clouding thinking about those precious moments. “I started falling in love with the words; I started getting lost in the world of books! Math which had been drudgery became an adventure. The numbers and equations puzzles I couldn’t wait to solve. I hated Hindi the most, but he pretended sometimes that he didn’t understand and I had to read the same lines over and over again.”

Of course it didn’t happen overnight. Pankaj had tried some of the same tricks in his new school. But in the end, his grandfather’s perseverance and love prevailed. Initially it had been a trying time for both of them; eventually peace prevailed in the household. Besides studies, his grandfather exposed him to a whole new world. On weekends and during school vacations they’d go on small expeditions to the nearby killas and hills. His grandfather would tell him all about their history and the old culture. They even went star-gazing with IUCAA on Singhgarh. Over time the dark horse was transformed into a star!

His father had wanted him to come back and join the boarding. Stubbornly Pankaj had refused. He completed his schooling and later Engineering at COEP staying with his old grandpa. With his grandfather’s blessings he got admission in IIT. He felt most fortunate that his grandfather had lived to see him get his first job. Despite protests from the old man, he had quit his job to take care of his granddad, during his last few days.

“If I had the kind of advantages you had, I would have achieved so much more. You don’t know how lucky you are!” had shouted the successful doctor at his son that day. But neither the wealth nor the status had helped. It had been love and faith that had made Pankaj what he was today.

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Quote from Jim Valvano :
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

 

Random Reflection: A Few Good Words

“And when I said thank you to not only to the dhobi but also the bhaji-walla, the vegetable guy, they were taken aback, just stared back. And you can imagine my sister’s reaction too.” Giggled my neighbor, Smita.
Smita and I were chatting about her trip. She was sharing her experiences; those precious treasured moments on her trip back home to Pune.

Laugh and giggle we did. But somehow her words keep coming back to me.
“Good morning”
“Hi”
“Hello”
“How do you do?”
Greetings from perfect strangers! Greetings exchanged almost every morning, now a part of life, a way of life…

My first day in US, I was stunned when someone I’d never ever laid my eyes on, greeted me with a warm smile and a big hello at the elevator door. I sure was surprised, concerned even…
And as the days became months and months years…am getting quite used to it.

Sorry,Please, Thank you,Hello, Good morning, Excuse me, How do you do?……These words and many more I learned at School and from my parents. Basic manners probably, but somehow  these words just not on the tip of my tongue. Maybe as a child I used them much more frequently, but as a grown-up maybe a sorry or thank you once in a while. Our languages encode etiquette; we even have different pronouns for each person according to gender, age and so on. But some simple words, these few words are somehow just not used as frequently

There were certainly some things I was amazed to find when I came to the US. My image of the US was totally different in some respects; politeness, courtesy included. Opening doors, pulling chairs, making way for handicapped; definitely some things I’d just read in books only, never thought I’d encounter them here, regularly. Yes these are very much a part of everyday life for many.

Agreed we live in a world of cut-throat competition, large populace. When one is somehow squeezing into the bus, there is no time or energy for words like ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry’. But believe me, these words do matter, do count. And they come cheap too; however they are priceless.

I remember years back; when I lost my job, upset I was taking a walk in the park, in Redwood City. All kinds of thoughts, all kinds of emotions were swirling inside me. I was sitting on a bench worried. An old lady, a foreigner to me, passing by stopped for a minute.
‘Are you okay?’ She asked. I merely nodded.
‘Have a good day, child. Take care.’ She bid me as she went her way. Superficial perhaps; a few words, just a few good words perhaps; but they were a balm to my soul that day.

And right now as I alight from the bus after wishing the bus-driver, ‘thank you for the ride’, I can’t help but think about my old rickshaw-walla. Our rickshaw-walla , Kadam Kaka drove my sister and me to school for years. And I don’t remember even one time wishing him thank you explicitly or bidding him good day. The thoughts and feelings were always there, infact he was like family…but today I can’t help but think about the missing words…

And there are three important words I almost missed too…

‘I love you’, these three words are perhaps the most abused, the most misused by youngsters today. But when a little girl hugs her granny and says these words, when a young woman says these words to her distant Sweetheart and when an ailing parent says these words to his grown-up son…they are so soothing…surely they are invaluable …

Just these few good words…